Change.
After spending most of yesterday at church cleaning out old files, dumping what I now won’t need and lugging too much home, I find I feel too sad for words.
I thought since this decision was initiated by me, I wouldn’t need to be reminded of how much I will be missed!
What I'm learning is that I wanted a bit of fanfare.
Perhaps a pause from the rat race long enough to express some kind of sadness at my departure. Once again, I'm disappointed and surprised by my need.
What will bring me peace?
Dwelling on what will never be, or reveling in the what is to come?
Can I use this painful experience to be something more in my response to others?
When I encounter pain, loss and fear of the unknown, I want safe, familiar and expected.
But will this path lead me to growth?
Trust.
The ruts created by living small can be very deep. Sometimes it takes a flood to wash away the path, in order to create a new way to walk.
The good news is that the uncharted trail leaves me with unlimited possibilities. I'm now at a crossroad.
What do I believe about trusting when I actually don’t know what’s next?
I believe I want to learn to know the God who is willing to lead me in the way I should go when I feel like I'm stuck in the mud.
Yes, some of the ruts have been washed away, but where is my next step?
After spending most of yesterday at church cleaning out old files, dumping what I now won’t need and lugging too much home, I find I feel too sad for words.
I thought since this decision was initiated by me, I wouldn’t need to be reminded of how much I will be missed!
What I'm learning is that I wanted a bit of fanfare.
Perhaps a pause from the rat race long enough to express some kind of sadness at my departure. Once again, I'm disappointed and surprised by my need.
So now, I'm faced with a decision; I can choose to look at this from what I didn’t get, no fanfare, or what I'm gaining, a new opportunity to explore my recovery without the pressure of the job.
Different.What will bring me peace?
Dwelling on what will never be, or reveling in the what is to come?
Can I use this painful experience to be something more in my response to others?
When I encounter pain, loss and fear of the unknown, I want safe, familiar and expected.
But will this path lead me to growth?
The ruts created by living small can be very deep. Sometimes it takes a flood to wash away the path, in order to create a new way to walk.
The good news is that the uncharted trail leaves me with unlimited possibilities. I'm now at a crossroad.
What do I believe about trusting when I actually don’t know what’s next?
I believe I want to learn to know the God who is willing to lead me in the way I should go when I feel like I'm stuck in the mud.
Yes, some of the ruts have been washed away, but where is my next step?
I am confident I will see the goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14
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