Strong

This weekend we traveled to Santa Barbara to visit our son and his best friend who fell over thirty feet off a cliff. 
Entering the ICU, I felt anxious and afraid. 
What would he look like? Could I offer comfort to his family that didn't sound like a bad Hallmark card? 
Crisis.
These are the moments where what has gone before determines what happens next. 
No one can plan how to respond when the unbelievable happens. 
We react in the moment of a crisis. 
Our storehouse of faith is flung open wide fueling the great need to find peace and comfort. 
This is not the time to build our faith for what's desperately needed now!

Control.
I have experienced these crisis moments and every time I feel as if I can't breathe. 
It stops me short. The jumble of emotions that cause my heart to race fuels me to action. 
Yet in the midst of all this swirling, there's a subtle shift from reaction to realization. 
God is in control. 
Everything is under His care. He already knows. 
Oh I flounder, dragging up fears that vie for my attention. But when I come up for air, and listen.
I can hear his voice. 
"Tell Me", He whispers. If I still my heart, I can hear the invitation."Tell Me". 
The dawning of this opportunity seeps into my panic-ridden mind. 
Stregthen.
It takes great energy to silence the siren of despair.
I come to Him with my pleadings. 
Oswald Chambers said that God did not give us overcoming life; He gave us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain there is no strength.

Truth.
Oh how I want to be strong in my faith. 
Which means I'm willing to join Him in the strain of it all, asking for what this life will bring; sorrow and joy. 
God is close, ready to reveal His mercies and glorious truths. 
Are we strong enough to hear Him?

Lost

Directions are important. Who wants to drive around hoping to find the way, wasting time that could be  spent enjoying the destination? 
We used to carry maps in our cars, depending on the passenger to navigate while we drove. 
Lost.
Now cars are equipped with GPS or we have smart phones. Technology has eased the anxiety of becoming lost. 
If we have the address, we are good to go. 
I find that in issues of the heart I forget to get directions. It's as if there's a fire and rushing forward is my only option so I won't get burned. 
Found.
My "emergency" isn't unknown to God. 
In fact, He's patiently aware and readily available to answer my requests. 
Being found in my need requires me to stop and seek Him. He knows where the road will lead and with Him it's always the way I should go.

  But I'll take the hand of those who don't know the way, who can't see where they're going. I'll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I'll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don't fall into the ditch. These are the things I'll be doing for them, not leaving them for a minute. Isaiah 42:16

Who wants to fall into a ditch? 
God is present every minute of every day. 
May we stop long enough to ask for directions!

Dancing

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance!"

Last night we joined some friends to celebrate the end of treatment. 
This news is wonderful and to mark the moment, they held a party. 

Now if asked, I'm sure this was not part of their hopes and dreams to be trudging through chemo treatments every week once again. 
Yes, I did write once again. 
This journey seems to have chapters. 
They finish one season, only to be thrust into another. 
It has been amazing and daunting to watch and learn how this has refined and encouraged them to grab the joy while it's flying close. 

Answers.
Who can predict what tomorrow will bring? Some may want to be cautious waiting to "make sure". 
But what is sure? Are we promised this side of heaven a pain-free existence where all of our plans are accomplished? 
Thankfully no! Every single one of us wants to matter, make our mark that will be long remembered after we're gone - but only on our own terms. 
We want independence and the freedom to plot our course. Yet we find ourselves facing unwanted and unexpected situations. 

Interrupted.
So what do we do? How do we walk this road of interruptions to our plans? 
When we yield and submit to God's purposes, we begin to view our situation as a part of His divine intervention. 
He has a story for us to tell, and it can have eternal significance. 
Exactly what we are looking for in this life. 

Glorified.
I believe my friends get this. 
They are choosing to live as children of a living, heavenly Father who intervenes so that they might illuminate His greatness and glory.
So they have a party - a celebration! 
May we live neither confined or hidden by our circumstances. 
Listen to the music and start dancing!

Rescued

Discontented.
What is our response when we are interrupted, sidelined, stopped? 
I can be counted on to be frustrated and annoyed. I had a plan, something thought-out and organized. 
Why at every turn do I find a wall? 
This internal discontent begins to rise up and my thoughts are captured with ways I have been thwarted. Soon the venom is released. 
Everything is viewed with these glasses of discouragement. Doubt plagues my thoughts with fears and I begin to hold on to what I want. I'm sinking!

The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me, I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer, I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them."

Attention.
Could my interruption be a gracious intervention? Can I look at this through what I believe about God and His plans?

I'm realizing that in order to handle life's interruptions, I need to consider whether God and His purposes for me are really my heart's cry. 
Can I yield to Him if He calls me to do so? 
May I move forward today releasing what I desperately wanted in order to receive what I really need.

4th of July

One of the great things about living in Turlock has been the fireworks. Growing up in a place where lighting something was left to the professionals, I've found the practice of lining up on a driveway or across a lawn to take part in a home celebration to be quite thrilling. There's a method to this madness. You must carefully consider how you want to end the experience so that you have a really big finale. Showers of colors along with a high-pitch wail, followed by a huge bang can bring everyone to their feet. 
After inhaling the acrid smoke, blinded by strobes and flashes of lights and deafened from the explosions, everyone is satisfied. 
The children have danced in the street, waving bright wands of light,while boys of all ages stand around hoping their offering delivered a thrill. 
The food ranges from traditional hot dogs to gourmet dips and spreads. 
The mood is light and hanging out with family and friends on a beautiful night reminds us that fun and festivity is important. 

Letting go.
I'm wondering why celebration comes easily to some, while others find this to be unimportant? 
Why are we afraid to laugh with abandon, eat too much, and take time to just party? 
Children get this. They grab what’s offered, squealing with delight over a lighted stick, enjoying the noise and mayhem. While some of us sit back and watch with guarded hearts never quite giving in to the fun being offered. 
What do I have to loose in letting loose? Maybe for a moment I will forget what's troubling and hurtful today. Would that be a crime? 
In this world, there will be sorrow and joy. So why not grab those joy-moments and squeeze out every ounce of delightfulness. 
No worries, tomorrow may bring more hard things, but for today in this moment there is a celebration to experience. 
Join the fun, love the ones your with, eat another hot dog and celebrate!

Expectations!

Change.
After spending most of yesterday at church cleaning out old files, dumping what I now won’t need and lugging too much home, I find I feel too sad for words. 
I thought since this decision was initiated by me, I wouldn’t  need to be reminded of how much I will be missed! 
What I'm learning is that I wanted a bit of fanfare. 
Perhaps a pause from the rat race long enough to express some kind of sadness at my departure. Once again, I'm disappointed and surprised by my need. 

So now, I'm faced with a decision; I can choose to look at this from what I didn’t get, no fanfare,  or what I'm gaining, a new opportunity to explore my recovery without the pressure of the job. 

Different.
What will bring me peace? 
Dwelling on what will never be, or reveling in the what is to come? 
Can I use this painful experience to be something more in my response to others? 
When I encounter pain, loss and fear of the unknown, I want safe, familiar and expected. 
But will this path lead me to growth? 

Trust.
The ruts created by living small can be very deep. Sometimes it takes a flood to wash away the path, in order to create a new way to walk. 
The good news is that the uncharted trail leaves me with unlimited possibilities.  I'm now at a crossroad. 
What do I believe about trusting when I actually don’t know what’s next? 
I believe I want to learn to know the God who is willing to lead me in the way I should go when I feel like I'm stuck in the mud. 
Yes, some of the ruts have been washed away, but where is my next step? 

I am confident I will see the goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14 

Look Up!

Reading Colossians 3, I'm challenged by this statement.

  "If you're serious about living the new resurrection life with Jesus then act like it!"

 It goes on to encourage me to stop looking at the ground, shuffling along absorbed with the things right in front of me. 
I'm hearing this exhortation while considering what's next on my home improvement list? Ouch! 
Just this morning I had a sweet time reading my Bible and sitting contemplating Israel's wanderings and rebellions. How easy it was for me to read of those people and how thick-headed and stubborn they were. 
Didn't they get it? God was taking care of them, providing for their needs. Setting up laws to abide by so that they could live full and rich lives. 
Isn't it easy when it's all about those people? 
I'm "those people". Restless and impatient, eyes downward only seeing what's right in front of me. 

Choices.
Reading further in Colossians, I'm reminded that my old life is dead and my new life - which is my real life is with Christ in God. He's my life. I'm invited into a life of love dressed in compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. 
I'm to be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. It's the peace of Christ that will keep me in tune with others. The instruction is clear and I want to be serious, yet gravity is pulling my vision south. 
Oh Jesus, may I be alert to what's going on with You. May my gaze be focused up, seeing things from your eternal perspective. 

"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. Every detail in your lives - words, actions, whatever - be done in the name of the Master Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way."